A few days ago I wrote our Sports Information Director Bill Behrns a nice civil email informing him of the recent upsurge of bot followers on the Loyola Men's Basketball Twitter Account. I wasn't expecting much in reply; maybe a polite "Thank you for your interest in Rambler basketball. We are aware of the situation and are looking into it. Etcetera, etcetera."
Instead I got nothing. Nada. Zilch. Silent as the "H" in "Behrns".
This got me thinking. Why no reply to my email? Why no action on the flood of bot followers?
Then it hit me. A flash of insight. Eureka! The only possible explanation is that "Bill Behrns" is a bot himself/itself.
This explains so much more than just the Twitter issue.
Hear me out.

With the advances in Artificial Intelligence (AI), more and more jobs are becoming suitable for automation. This includes the field of journalism, and particularly sports journalism. In fact automation in sports journalism has already happened. As far back as 2015 the Associated Press has used AI to write articles about Minor League baseball games.

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/sciencetech/ ... icles.html

Now if you read, back-to-back, a fair-sized sample of Behrn's recaps of Rambler games, the formulaic quality of the accounts jumps out at you. It is as if there is a master template which Behrns follows unwaveringly. For any given game Behrns simply inserts particular statistics, player names, etc. into the appropriate template slots. It screams robot writing, early generation robot writing at that.

Further evidence that Behrns is a bot is his writing of press releases for Rambler staff hires, providing suitable quotes for AD Watson or others. Here are some examples :

Holly Strauss O'Brien: "Holly is a rising star in the profession..."

Jennee Lange
"Jenee is a talented young coach and a rising star in the profession..."

Maria Noucas "Maria is a rising star in our game..."

Kate Achter"Kate Achter is one of the rising stars in college basketball "

Amanda Berkley
We are thrilled to add Amanda to the Loyola family. She is a rising star in the profession..."

Now either we do have an entire constellation of rising stars in the Athletic Department, or Behrn's writing software needs an upgrade on adjectives.

So I think the evidence is overwhelming that Bill Behrns is a bot, and all the fake followers of the Loyola Men's Basketball Twitter Account are his bot buddies.

I really think you are taking these bot posts too far. I don't think there is a conspiracy behind all of this. Most likely Bill Behrns is a guy who is doing his job and as part of that uses templates for a lot of articles as many places do. There are other interviews he has done with outside sources, and UW Milwaukee has a post announcing his hiring at his previous job. So what do you think of those?

I honestly can't figure out what you're getting at with the above. Don't know how to respond as I don't understand the point you're trying to make.

The points I was trying to make with my post (in a colorful way) are:

1. You should at least acknowledge an email when
sent in good faith with an intent to be helpful. It is unprofessional not to do so.

2. I think it's the SID's responsibility to monitor and clean up the school's social media accounts. Others may disagree and that's okay.

3. I think Behrn's writing is formulaic, unimaginative and pedestrian.

Since he's been in the business for many years I think he can handle the criticism. And it's not personal. I don't know the guy from Adam.

Maybe... just maybe... Bill is on vacation right before school kicks off and the university gets into full swing

If that's the case I will retract some of what I wrote.

Do you know for a fact or are you guessing?

Anybody know how many days until the season starts?

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MBB Scholarship Chart

Sounds more like a wry commentary than a legit question

Swella,

No, Bill is not a bot and yes, he is one of the best human assets the athletic department employs. Steve bringing him back was a great move not only because he’s very good at his job, but helps bridge a gap with a lot of alumni of the department that were alienated by our prior AD.

Who knows if he is on vacay, traveling to Alabama with our WVB team or just plain busy. I’m sure he’ll get back to you at some point.

While we’re talking about Bill, next time any of you see him, thank him for all his incredibly hard work during the final four run. Michigan, Kansas and Villanova employ quite large media/information staffs. Our staff was Bill and with the Cinderella Run plus Sr. Jean phenomenon, I’m pretty sure he didn’t sleep for a month. But his efforts helped us gain incredible national exposure and I think he’s going to continue to do a great job going forward.

Well said 08Rambler. We are lucky to have Bill at Loyola. Bill is a true professional and represents Loyola with class.

Without a conclusive Turing Test, I'm still not convinced Behrns isn't a bot.

All kidding aside, I respect the opinions of 08 and 9599 (You can't argue with Numbers after all). I'm sure Behrns is an outstanding member of the Athletic Department and an all-around good egg.

But until he gets back to me via email, purges the annoying Twitter bot followers (my latest count shows new fakes still outnumber new legit followers by 3 to 1), comes up with an alternative descriptor to replace "rising star", and surprises me with a memorable turn of phrase, I will still be on his case.